Protected: Teen Issues: A little comfort goes a long way #14

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Teen Issues: Understanding the essence of love #13

早上我翻了翻杂志, 偶然瞄到一行字。虽然它只是一行简单易读的汉字, 但它深深触动了我。

“你是我始终没有猜出的谜底, 你是期末未考的最后一道大题,你是课本里没有教过的事,你是没带伞的那个午后忽然落的雨。” -《你是我心中藏不住的秘密》

确确实实的,我们都暗恋过,暗恋的滋味何尝不是一点酸,一点甜,一点寒,一点火,五味杂陈的情绪配上无知的少年,难道不是我们所谓的 ‘青春’ 吗?

我也曾在年头的时候暗恋过一个人。那时对他, 也许出自于仰慕,我开始关注他的一举一动,一言一行; 他的一句问好,让我一瞬间乐滋滋的。有可能是我的一个行为让我们的关系充满摩擦,又或许我开始看清楚他真正的人格,我不在崇拜他,不再把他放在心上了。

现在,我正活在一个没有暗恋对象的时空。到底是自由的,孤单的,忧愁的,还是快乐的?我没去想,也不知道。反正我不用费劲心思把情绪放在一个人的身上,能多关心自己,和自己爱的人与事。暗恋这般事,没有对与错,该不该,这是我很迟才发觉的一道理念。我曾经天真的以为恋爱有一个制定年龄,对象有一个特定的标准。但视野开阔后,我渐渐发觉爱情是一场冒险的旅程,追求的,是一个永远追不到的终点站,享用的,是旅程上两个人的天荒地老。我依然坚信,爱情不是潦草的选择,任意的决定,随便的承诺。人生如此珍贵,时间是有限的,一生也只够爱一个人。

我之前的杂志其实是在介绍《你是我心中藏不住的秘密》这本书。因为那句话在我心中引起了共鸣,我决定阅读文章里,作者对于这本书的感想。以下是从文章摘出的:

{ 周大象对她说:“沫沫,你知道和一个对的人相爱是什么感觉吗?和对的人并肩,从来不需要成为更好的人,做自己就好了。” 这让林以沫发现,原来这就是爱情。她以为要一路小跑才能跟上他,却发现他放慢了脚步等她。

许多人气爱情故事都惯以将两个身份悬殊的人凑在一起。身为读者,我们常会以较高的姿态去审视一段感情,认为只要相爱,一切的困难都可以克服。但故事往往忽略了处于低位置的一方心情。倘若欠缺的是我们,我们还能不能有这样的勇气去要求对方呢?}

起决于崇拜的爱,太有负担了。一个要时时刻刻在乎外表,一个无法把内心深处敞开,一个自己不能透明存在的感情,不是一个值得追求的恋情。

浮夸,太累了。

与其一个众人羡慕,迪斯尼般的爱情故事,我宁愿谈个平凡,简单的感情。低调地过着二人世界,也未必是没有刺激的冒险。

一段恋情本该就是我们,而已。

Sending virtual hearts and hugs…

With love,

Chelsea.

DAY BEFORE I TURN 17

HI GUYS!

Thanks for spending this day with the random child born on this year’s teachers’ day– that’s ME!

This post basically thanks everyone for being part of my day.

1.Athena

I was thinking hard on who I should slot as #1 and that would be YOU. Thanks for being the mastermind behind the celebration thrown for me today and celebrating the 4th birthday together. Thank you for being so sneaky and smooth I didn’t even know that when you asked for what Ice Cream I like you were planning to get me Ice Cream for breakfast omg it came in a tub I LOVED IT TO THE CORE. You know my mum has been quite strict with regards to ice cream at home and omg you saved my ice cream quota this week dear. That was really one of my many highlights of the day. Also OMG I love your present so so so so much. I cannot hide my obsession for Disney and those tsums were secute. P.S. THE SURPRISE WAS BAMBI yayyyy! It’s gonna be on display with the winnie the pooh from the bath bomb you gave me for birthday last year. #Disneyforlife Thanks always doing stupid things with me, looking back I need to facepalm our journey but I still want to do more things with yo and may we grow old stupidly together.

 

THE REST IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

Angelica:

Happy birthday twin! Omg didnt know we got each other bears in different variation but we are twins after all hahaha. Really hope you enjoyed your day without me in your class anymore and hope you like my gift too. No matter how far apart we are, 31st August means something special that we both have in common and hence I hope we can celebrate this day together whether or not we still are in contact XD!

Ariel:

Thanks for the lovely card and all the heartfelt cards I’ve received from you. Thank you so much for coming down in the morning! I wasn’t expecting so many people to celebrate for me and you even made me a card omg, thank you I’ll treasure it! We haven’t had long chats but hopefully we will soon or if not after promos, and may we both always stay cheerful both inside out!

Avery :

So tell me in this day and age, who still even write “My beloved Chelsea” hahaha thanks the person who never fails to write me a card in all occasions possible. I didn’t expect anyone in the clique to write me anything or to even come up to me to wish me hpbd, but truly thank you for remembering. I kept all your cards since SEC 1 my gosh hahaha and while I may not be chasing the same type of happiness as you, I believe we can still find happiness in each other. Hope Alumni Band happens soon or we can hit each other up at Jurong Point after Promos. Even though we aren’t literally close, you have a special place in my heart I won’t allow anyone to replace. Thank you for the super duper emotional and heartfelt card, that you probably gave alot of thought to (which made you seem wise, though not, jk) and I think some things are better felt than written/said, and you are one of those things. Thanks Avers <3

Avery :

Firstly besides today’s celebration, thanks for that 5mins of convo we shared and always telling me “Don’t sed eh” which is shown more on your face than mine (WOAHHH) jk but thanks for being there. I’ve spent alot of mrt rides during my being 16 yo period with you and that’s a present I’m really really grateful for. You appear once in my card but more in my heart (Woahhhh smooth right) (nope not, chels stop being delusional) but thanks for being there. Also I love today’s segment of #Royvery very awkwardly standing at the side and singing in the most monotonous voice ever, it brings me more delight than if you guys would to throw confetti and jump out hahahaa. Now’s my turn to throw it back at you “Why so nice?”. TBH thanks for sourcing out my birthday though I really didn’t want to let you guys know but I guess the fact that Random Outingzzz celebrated it despite me not sharing my birth date made it much much more meaningful. Thanks for all the behind work, just know I really appreciate it to the bottom of my heart.

Clyde:

You need to know that I was taking a selfie with my CO friends then you called hahaha but thanks for being part of the surprise and giving me that “rated most hilarious” card. First of all, the equations and the whoops part and all the math references. I’m not gonna be rich and successful lol, you are, so please gimme your autograph before we drift apart and you get famous. Yea remember me when you get married too, she totally needs to know how much I’ve suffered from your physics lectures. But thanks to the weirdo who met me on the mrt ride!

Farell +Eusebius +Yew Rei

Thank you for coming down/ intending to come down to celebrate my birthday. I’m really blessed to have you guys as friends and tbh I wished I could do more for each of your birthdays but nevertheless I’m grateful for your presence in my life.

Glenda:

Hello the person who laughs at me the most on a daily basis, your existence is a really great gift because your kindness knows no bounds and I know we’re always there for each other. Thank you for that cute penguin I will make sure it lands on my bag and that means its gonna be a crowd on my bag LOL but you give me the cutest things how can I thank you enough. Yes you shall get to know me better hahaha thanks fren!

Jia Dhong:

PENGYOU I’m so glad we celebrated each other’s birthday this year after knowing each other for 5 years. Thank you for coming early to celebrate my birthday (yes I do take notice) and woah for the super long card sia. Yes this is definitely fate and you being in 17-U5 is a huge birthday present that I will treasure for these two years. Also because we’re friends and legit great friends you needa stap that “I really owe you alot” cause friends don’t owe each other anything kays thanks for all the though you put into my present the carousell part is legit funny and yess I love your gift!! Love yaaa

Julian:

Helluu the person in our class I look up to the most but you’re more dear as a friend. Thank you for your beautifully drawn card and for coming down to celebrate my birthday. You really didn’t have to get me presents omg I feel really bad because of how much you had to spend. Bought  a dizi and my favourite pen (Glenda is a sneaky kid) but the true present really is being there for me on a daily basis and always letting me know I can find you if I need help. And being one of the few in the class who really has my back. I don’t really get “Thank you for being by friend” often, but it’s  very strong message that I got rather touched by and really, thank you for the entire surprise thing todayyy!

Jun Xiong

Hey chair, thanks for compiling everyone’s wishes from 17-U5, not an easy thing to do as I know from alot of experience. And also for organising the morning celeb thing. I flame you very often but I’m glad you take them positively (or I choose to believe so at least) but thanks for being more useful than the library chair and actually taking charge of planning alot of CG stuff. But anyway thanks for all the effort you’ve put in I really appreciate it and here’s to 1.25 years as your classmate.

Justin:

First person to wish me yay!! I didn’t expect any guy from our OG to remember my birthday but thanks for remembering and surprising me with “HPBD” along the stairs!!

Keane:

Thank you so much for putting that effort into making that beautiful card! I 100% did not expect you to wish or even give me anything considering the fact you don’t know my birthday (but somehow you did hahaha) The artwork is really a solid A+  an regarding what you wrote; No probs you’re my buddy and friend I’m as grateful or more for you than you are for me. Thanks for also putting up with my lame jokes and we will always be great friends (plus Stick Dan). Thanks for blessing me with all the beautiful stuff in this world!

Mel:

MELLLLL you need to read the previous post if you haven’t ah. Okay but thank you for organising this and it came even more emotionally because 1. I didn’t expect it. 2. Alot of my emo state was targeted at yall. But putting that aside and starting on a clean slate, I really appreciate all of y’all doing this. And the board is so so beautiful I will put it up and admire it. Wah also you’re very very sneaky sia, but Ryan told me how unfortunate for you guys to keep bumping into me tskk tskk tskk aiyo. But here’s to a stronger friendship with you and even more random outingzz with everyone else.

Rachel:

Thank you for having courage to mend our friendship. It must be difficult for you sia la describe me as fake siol tsk tsk that will go down in our friendship’s book of shame. But thanks for being the only one that celebrated 5 years of my life with me and for keeping this unstable friendship constantly in check. I hope we can only go uphill from here kays. I can’t thank you enough really but I’m typing this after I ended your call and I need time for everything to sink in but nevertheless thank you for trying and trying, for if not for that we would really have lost all hope. Thanks also for the Sanrio file streak hahaha hopefully this streak can go on for a very long time into our friendship.

Royston:

Wah get cake sia and best performance by you and Avery. Loved how y’all two just stood at the side and remained your usual self hahaha. But on a more serious note, thank you for coming down to celebrate my birthday! And despite Royston being a very pessimistic individual, he actually told me to “Cheer Up” and to “Be resilient in face of adversities” at first I thought you copied word for word from the Life Coaching Journal but turns out to be from your heart and I appreciated that though I grey ticked for very long. But nevertheless, thank you and I hope you can be as generous with encouragements with yourself as you are to me!

Ryan:

Thanks for the surprise and being one of the lead characters that waited at the wrong gate and had to fly over LOL. Not bad your skills. But omg the G 调 left me speechless especially considering you knew about it. But nevertheless, hopefully you read the previous post and don’t get too confused about my emo state. Thanks for the random convos we have here and then and making dizi sessions with Wei Jie best. Also for making combined super hilarious.

Si Jia:

I didnt expect you to remember my birthday but omg thanks for remembering. And I really like the line from your card “Happy Birthday Love!!” The only person who calls all her friends in such an endearing manner. Glad you landed yourself in my OG and  also don’t think I deserve to be the friend of such a sweet and hilarious and most importantly Cool-razy person. Really hope 4 of us can go out again, this time hopefully to Rachel and mine area. Thank you for appreciating my presence, yours is very very much loved as well. Also thanks for the really sweet notebook thats PINK! I really love it and I will be sure to place it along with my other special diaries. It’s a gratitude journal but I mean what’s the diff since you already in my heart (WOAH SO SMOOTH RIGHT) (That’s if your blur head can decipher it la) jkjk but Love ya!!

Wesley + Tang Wei

Hellu the double Weis thank you for such a lovely gift it’s on my bed now as I’m typing this and it has made friends with my rabbit. They are the same colour so its cute. Also Wesley, you asked me whether I liked cats. Firstly, so sneaky like Athena and Glenda. Secondly, I referred to real life cats that I am neutral towards. Third, I love non real life cats like Totoro, Doraemon, Hello Kitty (OMG!) and the cat from Studio Ghibli’s Cat Returns, and of course, the one on your neck pillow. Thanks for the beautiful gift hopefully I can lie on it and after every sleep be as mathematically inclined as you and as artsy as Tang Wei. But let’s hope “lunch” happens soon T.T Have fun tomorrow, espcially Tang Wei, to meet all of the kiddos from our class!

Sending virtual hearts and hugs…

With love,

Chelsea.